Christmas letter

May I present to you our Christmas card and letter for 2010:

Yes, we really sent this out. The card actually said,

"Feliz Navidad! From your favorite luchadores, the family"

Enjoy!

Family Firsts in 2010

-First year since 1995 that we are diaper-free, crib-free, sippy cup-free and nap-free. Free at last, free at last!

-First time since 2002 the Jewkes family was not mentioned in a Christmas letter. Wait a minute...

-First cruise to Mexico with Cheryl's parents and siblings.

-First realization that cruise ships would go bankrupt if only Mormons were on board.

-First time parasailing and riding on a zip line through the Mexican jungle, which wins first prize for the most fun activity in the world.

-First time anyone ever haggled for eight luchador masks.

-First time in 15 years for Cheryl to be home alone twice a week. Daughter #2 is concerned for my welfare. “What in the world will you do with yourself?”

-First time travel for Cheryl--a solo trip to Colorado to see college friends and to California for a really big-numbered high school reunion.

-First year writing a snarky mommy blog: yepallmine.blogspot.com (NOT the first time being a snarky mom).

-First time convincing three kids with March birthdays to go to Busch Gardens instead of having birthday parties. Last time I do that.

-First discovery of a new body part by #5. "Mom, did you know that 'process' means a private part? When we were doing the motions for 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes', Sister W said she hit herself in the process!"

-First professional family pictures since 2002 (sans luchador masks). If you want to see what we really look like, look really carefully in the background of our Christmas card.

-First year for Glen as HOA president (unfortunately, the preferred Vice President job was taken) and first counselor in the bishopric.

-First time a TV show has trumped Spongebob as the family favorite. We love Phineas and Ferb so much, all of the kids dressed up like the characters for Halloween. Yes, yes they did. “Hey, where's Perry?”

-First trip to Bizarro World when Glen asked Cheryl a computer question. In his defense, it was regarding Facebook.

-First 11-day weekend during Snowmageddon II.

-First time #2 said, “I think I'm ready to go back to school now.” and “Maybe we shouldn't play so many electronics today.” Which makes it the second trip to Bizarro World.

-First time no one had school picture retakes. Not because the pics were good, but because I just don't care anymore. How hard is it to say, “Hey kid--you have pizza sauce on your chin. Wipe the sauce and the goofy grin off your face.”???

-First time intercepting a friend's 3-year-old escapee, armed with cookies. He came to our home all by himself to share with “Sister Nudie”.

Girl (15, tenth grade) -First family member to own an actual weapon since Grandpa's Red Ryder BB gun. Move over Robin Hood. She can shoot a mean arrow! -First time standing up on water skis -First one awake every morning -First driver's permit (aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!) -First time playing tennis on the high school team -First time since age 2 she made it past 5% on the growth chart. She finally passed five feet tall!		Boy (13, eighth grade) -First child to grow as tall as Mom and have shoes bigger than Dad's -First Class Scout promoted to Life Scout -First time for Peter Brady to take up residence with us (although not the last). Sing it with me, “When it's time to change...” -First kid in braces -First year voluntarily singing in chorus (and secretly loving it) -First time composing his own music (but he still hates piano)
Spicy Boy (11, sixth grade) -First child to stow away on a field trip he was not supposed to attend -First child to live and tell about it, but just barely -First eye surgery to correct crossing. We especially enjoyed the post-anesthesia delusions of grandeur—we found out he fought in WWII and personally assassinated Hitler, as well as the name of his girlfriend. -First foray into behavioral science. “Hey, Dad... I want a Christmas for DSi. See? I just used reverse psychology on you.” -First time in 8 years he no longer needs seizure medication!!!		Girl (8, third grade) -First child to giggle giddily and RUN to the font at her own baptism -First year in the Advanced Academic Center (formerly known as Gifted & Talented) -First child to wear an actual Bump-It (“Mo-om! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!”) -First (and last) time guinea pig sitting
Boy (6) -First Grade -First grader who does multiplication in his head -First official lost tooth (not counting the one the dentist pulled last year) -First time playing soccer -First self-inflicted haircut... on his eyebrows		Boy (3) -First time at preschool -First child to be the youngest at 3 years old -First child to bow out of the “gimme five, up high, down low” routine with, “Uh, that's enough.” Who really needs it in space or in your face? -First bunk bed with an older brother

First in our lives: family, friends and the gospel. We are so grateful for all of you and wish you a Merry Christmas and a New Year full of your own firsts!

Love, the crazies

“Oh, there you are, Perry.”

Teacher gifts

I just read a great post about giving teacher gifts, written by a male elementary school teacher. He is pleading and imploring parents of the world to stay away from kitsch, as well as giving some really great insight into what would matter most. So if you are still trying to figure out whether that teacher mug/tie/figurine would be good, just say no.

To read the whole post, go here.

The Twelve Days of a Large Family Christmas

My niece shared a funny video about having twins, and it got me wondering if anyone else has made one about having a large family. And through the magic of the internet, voila! Welcome to my world, everyone! (This is not my family. My kids would not behave this well for this long. And although I am not Catholic, I am a Mormon...)

Pontification

I belong to a papercrafting forum where a can of worms was opened. There were lovely things said. There were awful things said. There were some who tried to make peace, and some who refused to listen. All because of one word. Lines were drawn in the sand and accusations flew, all because some clarification was needed about a proposed project which dealt with winter holidays of all religions. The intent was inclusion and celebration, but it degenerated quickly.

Here's my pontification...

My parents were in charge of a church mission in Norway in the '90's. My dad spoke Norwegian pretty well, but my mom did not. They were required to travel around the entire country, speaking to congregations of all sizes. Most people in Norway under the age of 50 speak fluent English, but of course, all of the church services are in Norwegian. My dad would always give his talks in Norwegian without a problem. It would have been perfectly acceptable for my mom to speak English, but she chose a different route. She would write her talk in English, have my dad translate it to Norwegian, and she would proceed to butcher it mercilessly as best she could.

The people adored her.

They appreciated any and all efforts of another person (especially an American) trying to learn and speak a tongue that she really didn't need to use. She endeared herself to them immediately, and they trusted her and counted her as a friend.

Contrast that situation with any number of encounters here in America where someone is less than fluent with English (which is an AWFUL language to learn!). Generally that person does not endear him or herself to any large crowds. That person is most often met with impatience and indifference, and sometimes (shamefully) hostility. It is unfair.

My point is that I hope we can all be more like the Norwegians my mom encountered, who recognize that any effort to bridge the cultural gaps should be seen as a welcoming hand of friendship. My mom lost nothing in attempting to learn something about a different group of people. On the contrary, she gained the respect of hundreds of friends, who understood that her efforts were honest. When our efforts and intentions are honest and good, it shows. Let's be kind.

That is all.

Good things

Alright, I am finally coming up for air. This first month of school has had me swamped. Anywho...

I've decided that I need to share some things I love about my kids--especially those stinky boys of mine--lest you think I'm grumpy all the time. I'm really not. I love being a mom to these crazy kids, and I love the marvelous things they do. I want to list some of them out for you, and for me, because some days...well, some days are better than others.

In real life, my husband and I sometimes refer to the children by their birth order numbers ("You are Number Six!"--bonus points if you know the reference). To make it easy for you, I'll give you a cheat sheet:

#1: Overachieving Girl, 15

#2: Broad Strokes Boy, 13

#3: Spicy Boy, 11

#4: Slightly Redheaded Girl, 8

#5: Sunshiny Yellow Boy, 6

#6: Baby Boy (who insists he's not), 3

What I love, in no particular order:

#2 loves to bake. He's not a detail guy, so getting used to recipes has been quite the learning experience. He learned that accidentally adding cinnamon to chocolate cookies is actually quite good. I'm just glad the pages weren't stuck together and he didn't add beef to the dessert (bonus points if you know that reference!).

#6 likes to do things "my byself"

#3 has a great gift for reading and understanding people. He can walk into a room and immediately know who is a good guy and who's a bad guy.

#1 voluntarily apologizes for hurting my feelings when she has been snarky. She also asks me how she can help or if there is anything I need.

#3 is extraordinarily compassionate. Once when we were at the airport after a long flight, we shared an elevator with an elderly man and his daughter, who were from another country. #3, who was 6 or 7, walked right over to this man and out of the blue, gave him a hug. The man was so touched, and the rest of us stood there, speechless. Beautiful, I tell you.

#6 loves to talk to me when we're alone in the car. Chatty, chatty chatty.

#3 can imitate anything he sees. Anything. My neighbor was watching him play out the window one day when he was about 3 and she said, "I wonder if this is what Jim Carrey was like as a kid. He's going to make you a lot of money someday." He fully immerses himself in his characters.

#2 has great company manners, and I often hear how wonderful he was with his friends or with other people's children.

#1 is who I wished I could've been when I was her age.

#2 mispronounces everything (remember, he's a broad strokes kind of kid), and I find it very funny and endearing. Ask him to pronounce Encyclopedia Britannica or Hagen Dazs sometime.

#4 leaves sweet notes and cute pictures all over the house for us.

#4 is sassy enough to hold her own with her brothers. She knows just the right buttons to push with #2, for sure.

#1 actually cares what I think and asks for my opinion.

#5 and #6 are bosom buddies. When #6 was learning to stay on his big boy bed, I asked #5 to help him be quiet and set a good example. I shut the door, but I kept hearing noise, so I opened it and asked them again to be quiet. #5 said, "But Mom, we always play peek-a-boo before bed!"

#4 and #5 get along famously and play together so very well.

#2 is always willing to help me bring in the groceries. Sometimes I even got an audible "I love you". It's usually when I have bought really good cereal.

#1 still likes me. She's not embarrassed by me, and she actually likes doing things with me. Hooray!

#5 orchestrated, created and manned a lemonade stand for over two hours and pulled in $9.35.

#6 likes to be held like a baby when he's all wrapped up in a towel after his bath.

#5 is quite the ladies' man and a shameless flirt.

#1 is simply beautiful. She's drop-dead gorgeous when she puts on makeup (but she has no idea).

#2 volunteered to take care of the kids when I was slammed with strep throat earlier this year. My husband was out of town, and this boy took it upon himself to make sure I went straight to bed. He fed the kids dinner and got them in bed, and he called my husband to let him know how I was doing. He has a very protective side.

#2 was also the child who, as a 4-year-old, on 9/11/01, comforted me when I found out what happened at the Pentagon. My husband was there that day, and this boy gave me a big hug and wanted me to feel better. (BTW, husband was just fine. He didn't feel, see or hear anything while in the building, and although it took many hours to get home, everything was okay.)

#5 has the very best laugh in the entire world.

So on those days when "Good breathing, son!" is the most positive utterance I can muster, I can refer to this list and remember just how wonderful they are.

What's every mom's favorite color?

Why, it's SCHOOL BUS YELLOW, of course!

School starts tomorrow. Wow, summer went fast! This is the first year in 15 that I will be alone at home. Weird. 5 are in school full-time, and my youngest is in preschool for 3 hours, twice a week. How much can I get done in that amount of time? Ready, set, go!

Mistakes

I recently made a very big mistake. I said something inappropriate that ended up offending a large number of people, and I am just sick about it. When I said it, I didn't think it was as harmful as it turned out to be. I was trying to be funny, but unfortunately, it was at someone else's expense. Ultimately, it was determined that I am judgmental, mean and bitter, and I completely ruined a wonderful evening for a lot of people.

Ouch.

I found out about my blunder in a less than tactful way, from someone whom I considered a friend, and I felt gutted.

Ouch again.

What I am sick about is that I have fueled the insecurity of others and caused them to question themselves unnecessarily.

For the last three days I have had a lot of time to think about my actions and words, and what they have said about me. I thought I had moved past so much gobbledeegook. I thought I had given up gossip for good. I thought I was mature. I thought that I had lived my life in such a way that others would wonder why I am so happy and feel compelled to ask me about it, giving me a chance to share what I believe. I thought I was showing that I am trying to live a Christlike life.

Apparently not.

I was showing that I am judgmental, mean, bitter--and catty to boot.

Granted, those who know me well were not offended by my comment, and they have provided the most wonderful support and kind words of encouragement. I have amazing friends and family who can see past my imperfections and forgive me my shortcomings. Thank heavens.

I have learned a few things.

Everyone makes mistakes, and I have learned that they come in different forms. Sometimes they are deliberate. Sometimes not. Sometimes they are big, and sometimes they are small. Sometimes they are mistakes of omission and forgetfulness. Sometimes they are honest. Sometimes they are selfish. Sometimes they are harmless and funny, and sometimes they are terribly hurtful. I know I have fallen prey to making each and every kind of mistake on this list.

I've learned not to judge someone's character by one little action. People do mean things when they are hurt.

My job then is to be kind and give others the benefit of the doubt. I must not take offense so quickly. I must be more forgiving of others when they make mistakes, no matter what kind, and even if they are hurtful to me. I must give others an unimpeded path toward repentance and change, just in case they are ever inclined to do so. It doesn't mean I don't protect myself or my family, or take measures to prevent harmful influences from entering my life, and it doesn't mean that I shouldn't set boundaries and standards for proper behavior. What it means is that my heart should be wiped clean of guile and malice toward others and be filled instead with love.

There is a great story in the Book of Mormon about a military captain named Moroni, who wrote a letter to his political leader named Pahoran. They were in the middle of a great and destructive war, and Moroni was very upset that he had not received the support he needed from Pahoran. He wrote a justifiably angry letter, demanding to know why the soldiers and food had not been sent. He let Pahoran know that if the needs weren't met, he would take matters into his own hands. Here's where Pahoran becomes my hero...He explains to Moroni that he had to flee his own land for his safety, because there was an uprising within his own people. And then he says this, "And now, in your epistle you have ^acensured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart. I, Pahoran, do not ^bseek for power, save only to retain my judgment-seat that I may preserve the rights and the liberty of my people. My soul standeth fast in that liberty in the which God hath made us ^cfree." In other words, he doesn't allow the misunderstanding to go any further, and he shows a greater measure of love. It's mercy at its finest. He also solves the problem directly. This story has helped me maintain perspective many, many times. (If you want to read the whole story, go here.)

It is ever so important to go directly to the person who has made the mistake so it can be resolved in the most respectful way possible. Often, we have no idea we've blundered or hurt others' feelings, so it does no good to gossip or assume that the person will someday get it.

Lastly, I am grateful for do-overs. God has provided a way for us to do-over any mistake we've made. That's right, I said ANY mistake. He has also provided a way for us to be healed from the mistakes of others. That way is the Savior, Jesus Christ. We can lay our sins, mistakes, blunders, faux pas and shortcomings at His feet, and He will remove them and strengthen us enough to overcome them. We can also lay our pains caused from others' sins, mistakes, blunders, faux pas and shortcomings at His feet, and He will remove them from our hearts and fill in the holes to heal us. We just need to ask, and listen (and do) when He answers.

I promise to keep my feet on the floor, instead of in my mouth, but if I should happen to fall on my face again, will you please forgive me? Thanks in advance.

I'll end with another gem from my favorite quote lady, Marjorie Pay Hinckley:

"Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."