Friday, March 26, 2010

Me

Whenever someone I meet finds out I have 6 kids, their eyes get as big as saucers. "Wow!" They say. Sometimes that "wow" is awe-filled and congratulatory, and sometimes it is snotty, to say the least. You wouldn't believe the kinds of questions I get asked--as if having that many kids means that my personal space no longer exists (or that I somehow haven't figured out how I got myself into this mess). "Are you having more?" is the most common. I personally think it's a rude question, and one I wouldn't dare to ask anyone but my closest friends and family. What's funny is no one ever asks my husband that question. You see, I think that deciding when to have kids, or how many to have, should be left up to husband, wife and God. It's a very personal decision, and one that often includes much soul-searching, and unfortunately for many, much heartache. So, if you meet someone who has more kids than you think you could handle, please don't ask her if she's having more. It's an invasion of her personal space, just as much as asking someone why she so selfishly stopped at two. See?

Having said that, I have concluded that people really don't mean to be rude. I happen to live in the ultimate Suburbia, where everyone seems to have 2.2 kids, a minivan and a dog--with cute stickers on the back window of the minivan to prove it. I love it here, but I am definitely not the norm. So when someone makes a comment, I've realized that it's because she couldn't possibly imagine herself in the same situation, so she is just trying to make sense of it. That's fine. It's why I can't quite bring myself to reply, "Why do you want to know?", like my husband wants me to do. The saddest response for me to hear is, "I wanted more, but my husband said 'no'". Dumb husband. Foul. That's completely unfair.

Anyway, I love having a big family. It is rarely quiet, and my house is rarely completely clean, but we have a lot of fun together. I love seeing my little people do remarkable things. I love my husband dearly. He is my very best friend, and without him, I couldn't do it. Still, some days are hard, and I will freely admit that I want to run away sometimes.

I never thought I'd write for fun. If you'd have asked me in high school or college, I would have shuddered at the thought. I had extraordinarily fabulous English teachers, and I was taught very well the mechanics of good writing (Mrs. Dann, I apologize for the dead word), but I could never come close to the eloquence I sought. I still don't. But I've learned that I can convey my thoughts, feelings and sense of humor better in writing than I ever could do in speech, so here I am. Just so you know, my Christmas card letters are legendary. Ask anyone.

This is my snarky mom blog. Please join me on my adventure. I would love to hear what you think. I find humor in all kinds of things around me--especially my family. Sometimes I get really pensive and serious, as I hold some ideas and people very dear to my heart. Through it all, I want to be like this very wise woman who said, "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."
Marjorie Pay Hinckley



11 comments:

  1. I love you, your kids, your lengthy Christmas cards, and this blog. I am excited for your wit and hilarious outlook on live. Consider me a faithful reader.

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  2. Way to jump right in. I have considered starting a blog for oh, lots of months, but can't come up with a snazzy, catchy name. Sad that that is the thing stopping me. Oh, and not having hi-speed internet until this last baby was born and then having a newborn. One day soon.... better watch out! I love you and that husband of yours.

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  3. I'm sure I'll be reading this! I honestly can't believe we've been gone 4 years from little old C-ville. We always loved our time with your family and I can vividly remember seeing you at the grocery store once, with 4 children in two and being...jealous! (by the way, I ran the other direction quickly!) Of course, this was before I had children of my own...and now, contemplating taking three kids under 5 to the grocery store makes me a little dizzy...so if I saw you in the store now I'd probably feel admiration...not jealousy. It will be fun reading your blog, I am sure of that. You were, one of my favorite people to visit teach because you were sarcastic, like me, and didn't take yourself too seriously! Best of luck with the blog!

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  4. I have realized with this pregnancy that four is apparently the number of children at which you start looking like a crazy person. People's reactions to this pregnancy are SO MUCH different than to the previous three. It's like I've crossed over to Wierdly Big Family Land. So I'm starting to get a little taste of how you feel.

    For what it's worth, as we've discussed expanding our family, yours is one example I've used as a big family that works. You know some people have six kids and it seems like they have 85, but you guys have six and it just seems right. It works. From my perspective you're doing a great job!

    -Chelsea Cripps

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  5. I'm so excited you have a snarky blog. I love it! And thanks for putting so eloquently my thoughts on a big family. So fun to read! Can't wait to read more. So keep it coming.

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  6. I followed your link from PTI- love this snarky (read: real) blog. Six kids- I am jealous- I cherish my two and wish I had more.

    Blog on!!

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  7. Well, just so you know, I envy you your 6 blessings. I, myself, have 4, 2 on earth with me and 2 in heaven. At times my heart aches for more but I know God has blessed me with the two I get to care for daily. I envy the noise and laughter and joy you have (not the dishes or laundry though :>)) Glad to see you made into blog world. Love your crafty blog and now I am a follower of this one too.

    PS. I also have a crafty blog and family blog. Thinking of starting another one too - this one will be a cooking/baking blog.

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  8. Very well written Cheryl.

    As the youngest of 9, but actually an only child (too complicated to explain in a blogger comment)I wanted lots of children when I grew up. My magic number was 7 I always said. 4 of my own and 3 adopted. Although I have never tried to have one of my own (I still feel too young to begin THAT adventure), I do indeed have 2 adopted. So really, I'm only 5 away from the goal I set for myself when I was 11 years old!
    I adore you blog banner. Fantastic photo!

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  9. Congrats on your new blog. It's fantastic. I love big families (I'm the oldest of 5) and was surrounded by them growing up. I knew my DH was for me when he told me about his large Irish Catholic family (his Dad is the oldest of 15!). We've been blessed with two children and will take more if/when they come but I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to be the mom of that many. I'm too high strung. I can do other things, as you say. ;)

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  10. Cheryl, I love your "snarky" blog! Thank you for saying some of the things that I sometimes think, but just don't have the eloquence to say. You're a fabulous mom and example!

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  11. I will have to add, for those of us who "only have 2???" in the land of many many babies, it is equally as rude to say, "you only have 2? When are you going to have more?" Or the fact that when battling ovarian cysts and trying to get out of helping run part of a cub scout pack meeting because I was in extreme pain and the woman assumes (vocally, in front of everyone) I am pregnant. It is always such fun to explain that I am not, nor every will be, pregnant, in a public setting.

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