Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I've been replaced

Let me start off by saying that when I was younger, I definitely did not have boys falling all over me. I was "the friend". Whatever it was that my friends had to attract all that attention in 1988, I certainly didn't have it. Looking back, I think it must have been the hair. I never had bangs high enough to catch the boys. Yep, that must have been the reason. I really did have to walk between two of my friends to school so their ratted-up and hairsprayed side ponytails wouldn't stick together. They looked like Barbies and had all kinds of boyfriends. How did I miss that crucial piece?

Anywho, since then, I have become much more attractive. I have had the experience of having boys fall all over me in adoration. They just happen to be little. At about age 4, they turn into sticky-sweet, lovey-doveys who can't get enough of me. "I loooooooove you, Mom! And you're pretty!" "I'm never going to love any other mom but you!" "When I grow up, I want to marry you." I've been attacked by my very own 4-year-old kissing monster, who used to kiss my arms incessantly. Yes, it was a little creepy.

Two of these boys have grown out of this drippy stage, and with the older one, I am lucky if I get more than the lean-in, armless hug. He grunts at me when I say, "I love you." I knew it was all over in first grade when after helping in the classroom, I bent over to kiss his forehead, and he said, "Not at school, Mom!" I suppose he loves me on the inside--you know, where it counts.

Now I have a kindergartener. He has a happy, sunshiny yellow personality, and he is very loving. He's into fo-hawks and Spongebob. I've been at the top of his list for a while now. Until Monday.

"Mom, Can I please have some of those pretty flowers from our yard?" I naturally assumed he meant to give them to me. I was wrong. "I want to take them to school," he declared.

I have been replaced.

Kindergarten teachers are the equivalent of Barbie doll friends to a 5-year-old boy. I cannot compete with Mrs. D any more than I could with Angie or Denise in high school. And if I ratted my ponytail, he would disdainfully tell me that I smelled like "girl", and it would be too sticky.

What's a mom to do? Make sure he has a little brother to replace him. That's what I did. I'm not ready to give up my very small it factor yet.


  1. Unfortunately it happen every time. But you still have a big goofy guy to take their place.

  2. lol, my 3 yr old is at the huggy lovey stage, I love it and I will be devastated when it ends. Only tonight I was listening to "you're the best mommy i ever had in the whole wide world". They have no idea how powerful they are.

  3. When I go in to kiss AJ before bed I get the Pope head lean and I get to kiss his forehead. Not even his cheek. I still get one arm hugs. Kind of off topic but today at Mom and Dad's house (yes, spring break, and we NEEDED IT) I was sitting at the kitchen table where Mom and Dad were having breakfast and when AJ was too embarrassed to say what he wanted to say (he wanted to know if he could swim...yes, in the murky 67 degree water) he turned his back to them (facing the kitchen) and asked me under his breath. I thought that was very funny. Is he performing some covert op?