Things I Learned While Cruising

Click on the collage to see the pictures in their most glorious light.

I loved it.

I've never seen so many tattoos in one place in my entire life. Blech.

People drink on cruises. A lot. Wow.

Cruise ships must lose money when Mormons get on board.

10,000-calorie days are probably not good in the long run.

We can't resist taking Brady Bunch stair pictures.

The Filipino band that sang "Moon Ribber" was awesome! Also, my brother-in-law, who speaks Tagalog, met every single Filipino on the boat, I am sure.

Cabo San Lucas is exactly like Lake Havasu, but with prettier water.

When sitting on the beach in Cabo or Mazatlan, it is necessary to wear the "NO" shirt. Otherwise, each and every vendor of crappy clothing, jewelry, hats, sunglasses, purses and kites will violate personal space and ask for money.

Bring money to the beach, because you might just buy one of those purses.

Neither of those beaches was relaxing in the least.

My husband has a "Keep Out of Direct Sunlight" T-shirt. (I already knew that, but you perhaps did not.)

I'm pretty good at haggling. Who knew?

I love watching my husband speak Spanish. He loved being back in Mexico, too, after 20 years.

I can climb a rock wall, but I am shamefully slower than my husband and my 81-year-old father.

The first thing I saw when I looked out the window in Puerto Vallarta was a Sam's Club. The second thing? Wal-Mart.

Going shopping at a Mexican Wal-Mart is the exact same experience as shopping at any American Wal-Mart. Weird.

"Los pollitos go like this, 'peep peep'"

My dad is Superman.

Sliding down the zip lines in the jungle was AWESOME!

Parasailing runs a close second.

Definitions--Trip: Going somewhere with kids. Vacation: Going somewhere without kids.

Cruise ship singers and dancers have been away from land for far too long. And not in a good way.

It is nigh unto impossible to shave one's legs in a stateroom shower. It was also suggested that in order to shower properly, one should lather up the walls of the shower and just spin around. Forget about picking up the dropped soap.

Our waiter, Yatendra, from India, was awesome. I don't think he knew what to make of all 15 of us, though.

This particular ship had some wildly interesting artwork. My favorite was the flying Barbies. The Big Booty statue ran a close second.

I have mad skills when making a frozen yogurt cone. Frozen yogurt just fills in all the cracks after the 10,000 calorie meals. No worries. It's open from noon 'til nine.

My sister makes an awesome Nacho Libre.

The early rulers of Puerto Vallarta were also luchadores. See?

My family collectively rocks at Name That '80's Tune.

Puerto Vallarta looks suspiciously like Utah Valley with palm trees.

My husband has a weird Chandler Bing smile in every picture.