Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas letter

May I present to you our Christmas card and letter for 2010:
Yes, we really sent this out. The card actually said,
"Feliz Navidad! From your favorite luchadores, the family"

Family Firsts in 2010

-First year since 1995 that we are diaper-free, crib-free, sippy cup-free and nap-free. Free at last, free at last!

-First time since 2002 the Jewkes family was not mentioned in a Christmas letter. Wait a minute...

-First cruise to Mexico with Cheryl's parents and siblings.

-First realization that cruise ships would go bankrupt if only Mormons were on board.

-First time parasailing and riding on a zip line through the Mexican jungle, which wins first prize for the most fun activity in the world.

-First time anyone ever haggled for eight luchador masks.

-First time in 15 years for Cheryl to be home alone twice a week. Daughter #2 is concerned for my welfare. “What in the world will you do with yourself?”

-First time travel for Cheryl--a solo trip to Colorado to see college friends and to California for a really big-numbered high school reunion.

-First year writing a snarky mommy blog: (NOT the first time being a snarky mom).

-First time convincing three kids with March birthdays to go to Busch Gardens instead of having birthday parties. Last time I do that.

-First discovery of a new body part by #5. "Mom, did you know that 'process' means a private part? When we were doing the motions for 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes', Sister W said she hit herself in the process!"

-First professional family pictures since 2002 (sans luchador masks). If you want to see what we really look like, look really carefully in the background of our Christmas card.

-First year for Glen as HOA president (unfortunately, the preferred Vice President job was taken) and first counselor in the bishopric.

-First time a TV show has trumped Spongebob as the family favorite. We love Phineas and Ferb so much, all of the kids dressed up like the characters for Halloween. Yes, yes they did. “Hey, where's Perry?”

-First trip to Bizarro World when Glen asked Cheryl a computer question. In his defense, it was regarding Facebook.

-First 11-day weekend during Snowmageddon II.

-First time #2 said, “I think I'm ready to go back to school now.” and “Maybe we shouldn't play so many electronics today.” Which makes it the second trip to Bizarro World.

-First time no one had school picture retakes. Not because the pics were good, but because I just don't care anymore. How hard is it to say, “Hey kid--you have pizza sauce on your chin. Wipe the sauce and the goofy grin off your face.”???

-First time intercepting a friend's 3-year-old escapee, armed with cookies. He came to our home all by himself to share with “Sister Nudie”.

Girl (15, tenth grade)

-First family member to own an actual weapon since Grandpa's Red Ryder BB gun. Move over Robin Hood. She can shoot a mean arrow!

-First time standing up on water skis

-First one awake every morning

-First driver's permit (aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!)

-First time playing tennis on the high school team

-First time since age 2 she made it past 5% on the growth chart. She finally passed five feet tall!

Boy (13, eighth grade)

-First child to grow as tall as Mom and have shoes bigger than Dad's

-First Class Scout promoted to Life Scout

-First time for Peter Brady to take up residence with us (although not the last). Sing it with me, “When it's time to change...”

-First kid in braces

-First year voluntarily singing in chorus (and secretly loving it)

-First time composing his own music (but he still hates piano)

Spicy Boy (11, sixth grade)

-First child to stow away on a field trip he was not supposed to attend

-First child to live and tell about it, but just barely

-First eye surgery to correct crossing. We especially enjoyed the post-anesthesia delusions of grandeur—we found out he fought in WWII and personally assassinated Hitler, as well as the name of his girlfriend.

-First foray into behavioral science. “Hey, Dad... I want a Christmas for DSi. See? I just used reverse psychology on you.”

-First time in 8 years he no longer needs seizure medication!!!

Girl (8, third grade)

-First child to giggle giddily and RUN to the font at her own baptism

-First year in the Advanced Academic Center (formerly known as Gifted & Talented)

-First child to wear an actual Bump-It (“Mo-om! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!”)

-First (and last) time guinea pig sitting

Boy (6)

-First Grade

-First grader who does multiplication in his head

-First official lost tooth (not counting the one the dentist pulled last year)

-First time playing soccer

-First self-inflicted haircut... on his eyebrows

Boy (3)

-First time at preschool

-First child to be the youngest at 3 years old

-First child to bow out of the “gimme five, up high, down low” routine with, “Uh, that's enough.” Who really needs it in space or in your face?

-First bunk bed with an older brother

First in our lives: family, friends and the gospel. We are so grateful for all of you and wish you a Merry Christmas and a New Year full of your own firsts!

Love, the crazies

Oh, there you are, Perry.”


  1. We just got your card in the mail! I laughed at loud at the "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" comment. That was great! I can't believe your oldest is over 5 feet tall. Wow--that's bigger than me! Good grief, don't our kids know they are supposed to stop growing and stay little forever! Kai loved your picture. I had to pry it out of his hands before he went to bed. He was convinced that it was a family of superheros!

  2. This is so sweet, Cheryl! Love your photo and such a fun way to document the year! Merry Christmas!

  3. Man, there sure are a lot of firsts this past year…may there be many more good firsts in the year to come.

    Merry Christmas.

  4. Ugh! I forgot to tell you what a brilliant photo that is, too.

  5. Love your post and photo - great document of the year, mind if I steal the idea? We have a Nacho Libre mask too from a Mexico cruise, fun!

  6. So fun to read about your family! They grow up way too fast!

  7. sometimes i can't stand how cute/clever/witty/funny you are.

    sometimes I really really can't.


  8. We got your Christmas card in the mail when we got back from Utah. We loved it! As soon as I pulled the card out of the envelope Bret laughed and said, "Is that the Knutti's Christmas card?" Bret didn't know whose card I was opening up, but he seemed to know as soon as he looked at it. What a fun family you are. We look forward to next year's creation too!
    We wish all of you the best this new year.

  9. This is so awesome!!! I love the picture :D

    I am not a fan of Christmas newsletters (sorry, I am Mexican, no one writes them in my country, I don't get them) but this year I have gotten a few as cool as yours...I have perhaps changed my mind.